Love Thyself

I slept for 12 straight hours yesterday. I feel amazing, of course, but hope that such behavior isn’t in my immediate future plans.

I woke up this morning and I found the energy for makeup. And a very heavy, glamorous necklace that makes my day.

I think this—along with the many plans I have made for the week—means I am back. It’s nice to be back.

I was thinking about bitchcake’s blog and how she kept track of her progress religiously from day 1. She speaks of her “last straw moment” and how she just decided one day to change her life.

I have decided to change my life oh, at least 2 times a month for about two years now. Wait. Maybe 4?

And I know it is time. It has been time.

It just sucks that when I fall off the horse, I seem to just lay on the ground and stare back up at it for a few days, maybe a week.

I need to stop that. I need to be more like bitchcakes.

This revelation also coincides with the realization that I need to love myself.

In the end, it is just me and me. It’s all I have while I exist.

Sometimes, I think that I see a piece of cake or chips and I think, well, I’m never going to reach my goal anyway so why not have it?

Or sometimes, I don’t respect myself enough to just say no.

And I want to love and respect myself enough to make the right decisions.

It is the domino effect after all: last night I ate too much at Olive Garden, so instead of leaving the house to shop and do active things for me, I took a 12 hour “nap”. Yeah. If I had chosen the chicken dish, or a small appetizer and salad without dressing I might have made better decisions when I got home.
I’m not mad at myself for the “nap” or the ravioli. I just want to do better by me next time.

Goals for the week/weekend:
• Figure out a way to eat all the chicken still in our frige (yikes! Totally making half a pack next time)
• Mapping our meals and grocery shopping.
• Second street market visit OR farmers market for fresh fruit and veggies (om,om,om!)
• Start collecting music from the library for my new MP3 player
• Get my new MP3 player
• Walk!