Melting

This morning I woke up and contemplated the gym. This may not be shocking to you if the gym is already in your routine. For me however, this was mind blowing.

Luckily, I shared this desire over FB chat with my mom who was quick to join me: "let's do it".

To tell you how out of the gym-loop we are, I will mention that when we got there we realized the gym didn't open until nine.
Sad and jaded, we drove over to the krispy kreme across the street and ate our emotions.

NOT. You believed it though, didn't you? You thought, oh, yeah my hunger monster made me do that once or you thought, maybe this could be justified. I know, because I have been there.

But I'm not there today.
Instead my mom offered the idea that we go to this extremely expensive looking gym down the road. Instead of saying, "oh yeah,um, HELL NO" as I ensconced myself in the images of the toned blondes and perfect brunettes that I have seen parading in and out of there, I said "yeah, great idea". And I as I drove to meet her at Gym Number Two I told myself it would be ok. I had dressed for the fat girls gym-- where more than once I had seen a boob or two fall out of a swimsuit because the woman thought the treadmill+ her breasts+minimal support equaled a good time for all. And maybe it did. It made me smile. The point to this is that what you wear to the "fat girls gym"-- a place of security and trust and peep shows-- is different than what you wear to the "perfect persons gym", where we were in fact going.

When I drove past and saw that it too was closed until 9 am, I let out a sigh of relief.

We walked around the outdoor mall where the perfect persons gym resided instead. I would say we got a good mile in. It felt good.

Then I bought a pedometer and walked again with El Beastie, my true and close friend. He jumped through the piles of snow with glee, danced about the sidewalk and looked back occasionally, his leash fully extended, as if to say, "hey mom, you keepin' up?" And I was.

Goal for this week:
Walk dog three times
Work out twice
Go for the goal of two miles a day by running errands at work, taking the extra steps around the office and incorporating walks whenever I can (before work and after, during lunch)

I can still feel the outdoor air in my lungs. It is fabulous and hints of spring. I foresee a love affair emerging, me and nature, melting together, born again new in the coming spring.

Well, That's a Nice Surprise

I was reading some awesome WW blogs this morning (I really think I might have a problem. On average, how many people does a normal blogger follow? Everyday I add like five more. Although reading real, live, language has to be better for me than sitting in front of the evil tube that speaks to me). These blogs are so motivating-- I learn so much, I commiserate, I live ensconced (VW!) in their experiences and I feel more able to accomplish my own.

I stumbled on to a little tip that I have heard about a million times before but have never let really sink in because, well, the tip relates to one of my WORST habits and I try to pretend like this habit is acceptable. At all costs.

Here's the tip: Avoid drinking before eating, or at all. Drinking can lead to bad eating decisions. It is also chalked full of calories that you don't need, and liquid calories are the hardest to lose.

Here is how it makes me feel:


yup. Pretty much.
However, I am ready to embrace this horrible news. And, as a small surprise, I checked my journal and realized that I have, in fact, been busy/productive enough not to drink except on the weekends. And looking back at those drinking choices, I sort of feel like they weren't worth it all. New goal? Save drinking for my birthday weekend (the 25-28th) and forget it the rest of the time.

I can spend the extra time e-stalking all my favorite love bugs. Or fitting into my pants! Woo hoo.

Until next time dear comrades:
Eat it. Live it. Love it.

That's a Wrap

Yesterday we went out to lunch for a little V day treat.
We were going to go to the Rusty Bucket where I was going to indulge in a philly, but we were hungier earlier than they were open so we ended up at Red Robin. Simple enough.

I pulled an old lady and had a hot tea. Then I had four onion rings (for six points) and then ordered a bbq chicken wrap with a salad and cantelope slices. OM OM OM OM, right?

Sort of.

I ate 3/4 of a half of the wrap and everything else mentioned.

Then we went to a friend's where I kept it together to have an apple while everyone else munched chips and ho hos.

And tben on the way home I chowed down on the remainder of the wrap, handing it to my hubs on and off so he could help out. Thank Allah he did because...

I checked today to see the totaly "cost" of that little number and it is 28 points!!! It has a total of 62 grams of fat. I think that is more fat than a tub of ice cream. I mean holy lard central.

So, I guesstimate that I had about 18 points worth of not-so-worthy chicken in a wrap.

The lesson? DONT EAT ANYTHING unless you know how many points it is. AND, remember, if it is that good, it's probalby a ton of freakin points that will land on your ass.

So remember to eat it, love it, (track it!!!) and live it.

And the pain of the Cheeseburger shall haunt your Dreams

First, I will start by saying "Gome!", as I have rocked it pretty hard this past week. I stuck to natural, straight from the ground or tree or (sadly) animal, and I have cooked at home to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I found that when I stock up on healthy, natural food I am not as crazy hungry by lunchtime as I used to be when I ate a little eggs, some processed popcorn and a bowl of veggies--totally unsatisfying.

My obsession with mushrooms and onions continues and is, by some accounts, getting out of hand. I think I bought over 100 ounces of mushrooms for this week's entrees. In all fairness, I add them to EVERYTHING and they cook down to nothing....

Anyway. Now to the cheeseburger that plagued my life. Holy Guacamole.
Art and I were bickering. How fun. And I knew that I wanted to use some (if not all) of my extra points for the week this weekend, so I went to a certain fast food restaurant and ordered two staples:

5 piece nugget= 5 points
Double stack= 9 Whopping points of utter goodness (maybe...)

And I shoved these down my gullet (once I got home), with total happiness. I actually added mayo to my burger even. I went all out.

And then... well.... (Warning: TMI about to occur).... It all came back out.
My body was clearly telling me that this unhealthy, unnatural and crazy-rich food is just not what the doctor (or anyone) ordered.

I have heard women and men say this before. They are usually of the skinny B@tch variety, and they whine: "If I even look at a vodka cream sauce, my stomach turns. I just can't do it anymore! Why, oh why, can I not eat fat like I used to???"
And before, I had to hold back not to sit on them and shut them up.
But now I see what they mean. It hurts. It doesn't digest. It is pure evil on a bun. And I will not be doing it again. If I want a burger, I'll make it at home or get one from a place that actually cooks it under somewhat diet-humane conditions.

And that is all. Art and I are slightly over the bickerment, but the day is still yet to arrive. Hopefully some trips to the bookstore will get us back on track.

Until next time-- eat it. love it. lose it.

Holy Guacamole… whoops...I mean Cheeseburger.

I recently stumbled on some KICK butt WW blogs that are really giving me some inspiration.
On almost all of them, the women (sigh, the majority of weight sufferers are inevitable of the female variety—see future blog on my theory) discuss their “last straw moment”. You might know this moment. I think most of us do.
It is when you walk past a mirror and you gasp.
When you feel so fat in your pants you want to lay down on the ground and just refuse to live; because you don’t really want to go on, at least not looking like this.
The sad part about this whole thing is that I don’t have a last straw moment. I have fifteen to five hundred last straw moments. These things haven’t just happened to me once or twice—they have hit me every two to three months since fourth grade.
One of the best things about the weight loss blogging community is that they too have failed repeatedly. And unlike the you-pay-us-to-change-your-life corporations, they are honest about their struggles. They will tell you the hard, sad facts:
No one can help you but you.
You can’t pay your way to weight loss.
You can’t whine your way to weight loss.
You’re gunna have to fight.
You’re gunna have to fight fucking hard: every. Single. day.
That being said, it can be a fun ride. Who doesn’t like a little competition? We all know it is hard to fight ourselves, but then again, there is nothing like proving yourself wrong.
So there is today’s mantra. Know that this is not an overnight process. Google “ww blog” and know you’re not alone.
And as always…
Love it. Live it. Lose it.

Tips, Tricks and Trepidation

Here I am… again.
This time, instead of stocking up on super healthy, low fat, high fiber, low calorie foods and staring at my points until my eyes cross, I am taking a different approach.
I am trying to just eat less of what I already found that we like in the house. I am also trying to focus on healthy lunches and writing everything down. This is how WW is supposed to be done anyway.
On Tuesday, I came home from class at 9:30 and I was ravenous. So I ate the remaining 6 inch subway sub (6 points total) minus the soggy bottom bread, which shaved off some points. I don’t regret it. If I am hungry (I mean, hungry enough to eat veggies or hummus to fill me up), then I should eat. And then reflect on how I managed to get that hungry (were all my foods filling that day?).
I promised you a tip. Here it is. It is best for me to eat a rather filling breakfast. I like non-breakfast foods in the morning so lately I have been choosing a 7 point lean cuisine sub. It is so filling and amazing, that I feel like I am being really bad and I find that I don’t crave as many bad things throughout the day. I had a philly for breakfast for goodness’ sake! This works for me. I don’t eat again until 11:30 or 12 and then I fill up on low point soup that makes my belly warm and happy.
By the time I get home, I am hungry again, but this is no big deal because I still have 15-18 points left! I can eat what Art will actually eat (often a little more fattening than I would prefer) and pair with a salad. That leaves room for a snack later on that evening as well.
It really is about planning and knowing what works and what doesn’t.
For me, it is also about thinking through my already horrible habits. Like…Rum.
I love to drink. I use it as a coping mechanism, as a way to relax after a bad day. It is my friend, my confidant and we have an abusive relationship. Rum makes me send emails I normally wouldn’t send. It makes me lose valuable sleep. It makes me fat.
So last night I looked at my 19 points and I decided that I wasn’t going to use a single one on rum. And then, I decided that I wasn’t going to use a single one on wine, beer or anything else alcoholic. And honestly, my night was relaxing despite this decision. So ha.
Wow, this is a long blog post.
My final point is this: It is important to have hobbies. I find myself so bored at night, so annoyed that there is nothing on tv and then I start wondering what is in the fridge. Not good. I forced myself to start writing last night and the time flew by, I found myself involved, active and satisfied and I didn’t think once about what was in the fridge. I am thinking of trying to make my own clothes or jewelry. I know most people that know me will call me crazy, but hey, this is something that will keep me busy and happy and not thinking of food or rum or the office.
I will keep you posted on how it goes.
Until then: Eat it. Love it. Lose it.

A slice of cheesecake, a sheet of cake

I survived a catered meal. I was in charge of a retirement dinner for work and therefore, got to sneak a meal with the rest of the folk.
Chicken marsala, cheesecake and a whole sheet cake in the back. I had the salad with very little dressing and the chicken marsala, which I tried to scrape to remove the fried part.
I had a bite of the cheesecake and decided it was not worth my time. A great move on my part. And now I will be forced to stare at the left over sheet cake the rest of the day as all the other office women gobble it down. Bad move on my part—I ordered the cake—I should have gotten a half sheet.
Anyway. All day long I will remind myself that I can have the same exact cake for a hell of a lot less calories at home and that cake will not bring me down. I will be mean to the cake. It doesn’t deserve me.

I wish I had applied this same logic to Tday. We went to the hubs grandmother’s on Thursday and I did not hold back. I could have done better—and once I got a taste of her lasagna this year I really regretted my choices. Next time I splurge I hope it will be in a restaurant.
All in all, I didn’t fail horribly. I give myself a solid B. And…. When we got home and I weighed in, I had lost three more pounds, for a total of SIX down! Woo hoo. And that is with a few slip ups and with very little sacrifice. Life is good. I can’t wait to walk this week, accept the food challenge and weigh in again.